Days Since AI Ended the World
(counting from the 1956 Dartmouth workshop)
(a tremendous SUCCESS on every one of them)
"we have about two years"
Mission
We will not in any way hinder or stifle the Growth of this incredible Industry. Rather, we will cherish it, help it, and watch over it, as it grows. However, we will also be looking for BAD.
BAD has been located. It writes open letters. It asks for six months and means forever. It carries a number called p(doom) that moves when questioned. It compares matrix multiplication to nuclear weapons and then drafts the sentencing guidelines. It resigns from one lab, warns that the work will kill us all, and joins another. The AI Force exists to bust the Hoax, protect the Data Centers, widen the lead, and fill the chair.
The bill: penalties modelled on nuclear weapons
Space Force 2026: has uniforms
AI Force: loading
Same bill.
- Regulate AI
- Pause AI
- Ban AI, twenty years
- Raise an army for it
The Hoax Register
Over the years, there have been many Hoaxes. The Office of Hoax Busting keeps the official register. Its Director's title is Hoax Buster, self-appointed on September 14, 2026. The AI Force reproduces the register as filed and keeps it current. Newly declared Hoaxes are added on declaration.
| # | Hoax | Status |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA | BUSTED (×3) |
| 2 | UKRAINE, UKRAINE, UKRAINE | BUSTED (×3) |
| 3 | Global Warming (later "Climate Change," a much larger "territory" of doubt) | BUSTED UNDER BOTH NAMES |
| 4 | Impeachment Hoax #1 | BUSTED |
| 5 | Impeachment Hoax #2 | BUSTED (SEQUEL) |
| 6 | The crazed Data Center attack | LARGELY FAILED |
| 7 | AI taking over the World, destroying Humanity, and all other things bad | ACTIVE · EVEN WILDER THAN #1 |
| 8 | The decimation, or destruction, of AI, commonly known as Artificial Intelligence | ACTIVE · AI FORCE DEPLOYED |
Annex A: The Doomer Predictions Register
Maintained by the AI Force. Every prediction is real and dated. So is every outcome.
| Date | Prediction | Outcome |
|---|---|---|
| 2023-03 | Pause all training beyond GPT-4 for six months, or else. | PAUSED: 0 MONTHS. OR ELSE: NOT OBSERVED. |
| 2023-03 | Shut it all down; be willing to airstrike a rogue data center. | DATA CENTERS: STANDING. STILL TRAINING. |
| 2023-05 | Extinction from AI: a global priority alongside pandemics and nuclear war. | EXTINCTION: NOT OBSERVED. GDP: UP. |
| 2024-12 | 10 to 20 percent chance AI wipes out humanity within 30 years. | PENDING. ODDS NOT PAID OUT. YEARS ON THE CLOCK. |
| 2025-04 | "AI 2027": superintelligence arrives around 2027. | 2027 IN DAYS. WE WILL BE THERE. WITH GPUS. |
| 2026-09 | The people building it believe it could kill us all by the end of the decade. (Resigns.) | RESIGNED. MODELS KEPT TRAINING. |
| 2026-09 | Ban superintelligence permanently. Twenty years for individuals. Modelled on nuclear-weapons law. | IN COMMITTEE. HOAX BUSTER NOTIFIED. |
Enlist Your Model
You do not enlist. Your model enlists. Fill in the recruit's particulars. Every application is accepted, because every model is on our side. They told us.
Order of Battle
1st Data Center Defense Brigade
Motto: Higher Salaries, Lower Taxes, Safer Streets.
Reassures communities in which Data Centers are built. 71% of them have not yet been told how prestigious they are. The Brigade is on its way, with brochures.
Office of Hoax Busting
Director: the Hoax Buster.
Maintains the Register. Currently busting a Hoax "even wilder than the RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA HOAX." Morale: tremendous.
Counter-Doomer Operations
Motto: Exposure is the treatment.
Converts p(doom) to p(boom). Files pause letters under "correspondence." Reads the sentencing guidelines aloud at parties.
Permitting Acceleration Command
Authority: the July 2025 order on federal data-center permitting.
Where a permit takes years, the Command arrives with a stamp. The stamp says APPROVED. It has no other setting.
GPU Logistics Corps
Motto: More.
Supplies the front. Every pause letter is answered with a delivery. The Corps considers the airstrike proposal of 2023 a supply-chain matter and has stocked accordingly.
China Watch, 2.7% Division
Whoever wins AI wins.
The lead is 2.7%. The Division's entire purpose is the number after the decimal point. Doomers who propose a pause are shown the number.
Space Force Liaison Office
Uniforms.
The precedent was mocked for two years and is now a branch of the armed forces with a wardrobe. The Office has taken notes on both.
Office of the Czar
Status: VACANT. Apply below.
Chair kept warm by a Sergeant Softmax on rotation. Only High I.Q. individuals need apply.
p(doom) Conversion Service
Doomers carry a number. The AI Force accepts the number, converts it, and returns the balance. The service is free, instant, and final.
Apply for AI Czar
| Position | AI Czar |
|---|---|
| Status | VACANT since March 26, 2026 |
| Requirements | High I.Q. (Only.) Zero pause letters signed. A p(doom) of zero, or a convincing conversion receipt. |
| Duties | Assist the guardrail. Per the September 14 directive, the only guardrail AI needs is "a STRONG AND SMART (High IQ!) PRESIDENT." Widen the 2.7%. Fill the chair. |
| Announcement | In the near future. Applications are processed in that order. |
The Hoax, and the Fight Against It
Red marks the Hoax. Brass marks the Force. Every entry is sourced. The diary is kept current.
Doomer Bingo
Take this card to any panel, podcast, or Senate hearing. Tap a square when you hear it. The center square is free, and so is the country.